and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
