Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A bitchslap is in order.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
