Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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