Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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