I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
