Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
