bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My feet surprised me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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