So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
