I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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