one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
