I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
