Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
