first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
