Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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