why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Semen is not good for contacts.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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