I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
