i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
