gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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