So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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