i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
