you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
