you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My life is pants optional.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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