are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
