well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
