Porn is love you can see.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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