just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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