ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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