are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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