"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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