Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
