I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
