Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well you can't waste a boner
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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