In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize