Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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