Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
