apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So squirting runs in the family.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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