As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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