I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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