"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
