Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
