Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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