rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
