Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
