Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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