Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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