Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
