Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
