We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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