belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If that was your dad, he is hot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
