we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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