Umm I'm too high to move.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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