Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
