My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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