do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
