I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
soo... how was my night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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