My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
