can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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