My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
