new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
