How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
