I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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