Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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