3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
