While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
