Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize