I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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