It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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