Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
