It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
