i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
