Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
