I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
